Nightmares and Daydreams

Last night I had one of those dreams. You know, the nightmare where you show up for your final in your jammies and you forgot to write the paper. I was shuffling through piles of messy notebooks, sure I had at least enough to turn in for some sort of grade. Nope. Empty handed and panicked. Ah, so nice to wake up and remind myself that I did graduate 32 years ago.

Now I find myself in what some would call a nightmare scenario. I don’t know how long I have on this earth (guess what, no one does.) The future is uncertain (sound familiar?) There are days when I think my resources may be insufficient (anyone else?) I won’t live forever (and neither will you.)

So, when I feel things like this, I pause, just as when I wake from a disturbing dream. Thinking on what’s true helps me settle in to peaceful rest. Muscles relax. Tears dissipate. My heart is calmed.

God always seems to have some great insight on life. In Philippians 4: 8 and 9 He reminds us where to focus our thoughts:  “Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things. Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me, or seen in me—put it into practice. And the God of peace will be with you.”

I start with the truth that matters most. My most important role in life can still be fulfilled, even in the middle of difficulty: Love God and love People. It’s a life-long calling, complex and simple. If I am busy thinking of others and focusing on following Jesus, my heart is more content than when I think only of myself. There’s real joy in that. I can always take time for others, even with low energy: a phone call, a note, a short visit, a prayer. And God will visit with us anytime, even in our jammies.

Another great truth: I am eternal and secure in Jesus. This life is about as long as a sneeze, but forever is forever. Finding connection with God, through the forgiving work of Jesus, gives me comfort and confidence. I will not live one day less than God wills. Each of those days is a gift. When folks ask how I’m doing, I usually respond with, “It’s a good day.” And you know what? That’s the truth. My days are full of blessings and joy and love and good food and rest and great people and all that I need.

Here’s a good one: It’s okay to dream and plan, even with a dire diagnosis. When I first realized I was super sick, my prayer was to live until my oldest son graduates in May. Now I dream about Rachel’s June wedding and a family fourth of July in Montana. I will start new projects. I may even get to enjoy some wonderful grandchildren. I’m not demanding, but I’m dreaming.

James 4:13-15 reminds us how to plan and dream, “Come now, you who say, “Today or tomorrow we will go into such and such a town and spend a year there and trade and make a profit”— yet you do not know what tomorrow will bring. What is your life? For you are a mist that appears for a little time and then vanishes. Instead you ought to say, “If the Lord wills, we will live and do this or that.”

We all live one day at a time, whether we recognize it or not. Dream, and check in with God on your plans. Talk it over with Him. Seek to glorify Him in all you do, and you’ll find a place of rest. Don’t be a slave to nightmares, rather be a celebrator of truth as you dream sweet dreams.

Rest well, my friends.